Slaughterhouse 5 and My Big Question

Slaughterhouse 5 really wasn't about healthy or harmful relationships in my personal opinion. What I got from the novel was the internal struggle that Billy Pilgrim had as to what he should do with his life. Throughout the novel Billy time traveled, and to me that was an example of the author saying how Billy didn't really have a set goal or direction that he wanted to go in and take his life to. He was in the war and was an optometrist, but I personally believe that he couldn't really focus on something for very long. The escape to Tramafaldore could be a great example of him trying to find a way to avoid having to accomplish things and just deal with life as it comes.

To Billy, all his relationships seemed indifferent. He was married to a woman that he didn't really care much for and he was satisfied with that. She didn't do him any harm and was actually a good companion for him, but there was nothing special about their relationship. Also with Montana he didn't seem to care much what happened with her either way. He was happy about their relationship, but just like his other wife nothing spectacular made him love her in a very passionate way. The fact that he didn't feel bad about cheating on his wife is another example of his indifference, he didn't encourage cheating, but he simply didn't judge as to whether the action was right or wrong. All the relationships he had in war were also very indifferent because not once did he grieve for one of his fallen friends. The only time that Billy cried was when he saw that the horse was being so mistreated. He didn't cry when the school teacher was shot, or when Weary was killed, or even when he found bodies or had to sleep next to the dead hobo on the train. Billy simply didn't feel emotion. He wanted out of life and no relationship that he had could truly change his personality or affect him in an impactful way. Not even his daughter could sway him to believe in what she thought was right nor could the rejection of the public about his Tramafaldore experiences hinder the belief he had in those aliens.

Billy was a very strange character in that the only thing he was passionate about was time traveling and getting people to believe that he was telling the truth. Although it never worked that was the only thing that Billy did not give up on. He gave up on life, on his family, and on having a successful career, but he did not give up on presenting the Tramafaldorians to the Earth world. I think the Tramafaldore experience was simply an outlet for him to relieve his fears or stress that he had in the real world.

Beloved and My Big Question

The relationships in this novel are probably some of the most complex I've ever seen. To begin with, the relationships between Sethe and her children are very complicated. The relationship between Denver and Sethe is interesting because Denver is only trying to help Sethe and in Sethe's mind she is trouble because the white men will come and try to enslave her so she attempts to kill Denver and her other three children. Regarding the murder of her little daughter, the relationship is definitely harmful. Because Sethe wanted to protect her children so bad she had to revert to killing them and that was obviously not good for Sethe's mental and physical health. When the baby returns as a ghost haunting 124 it is even worse because it is a constant reminder of Sethe's past. The healthy relationship between Sethe and Baby Suggs is very important because Baby Suggs was a great role model for Sethe and Denver. With her passing, it was hard for the family to get along. The appearance of Paul D is helpful to Sethe's life. The ghost goes away and then they all seem happy as a family until he finds out about Sethe's past. Paul D protected Sethe and made her feel loved again, but then turned into a harmful relationship when they fought about the past. In the end of the novel though Paul D returns and becomes the steady figure in Sethe's life that she needs. He tells her "You your best thing, Sethe. You are." He is there for encouragement and is always willing to be there for her when she needs his help. The relationship between the adult Beloved and Sethe is very harmful, but physically and mentally. Towards the end of the book Beloved has a certain power over Sethe and Sethe starts to give everything she has to Beloved. She begins to get physically ill because she is giving all her food to Beloved and thinks of no one but Beloved. She is trying to give every ounce of love she has to Beloved to make up for her past, even if it means sacrificing herself. With Beloved seeking revenge and glady recieving all these things from Sethe it is obvious that it is a hurtful relationship. To me, Paul D is really the person who holds together everything in the end, and I believe that he, Sethe and Denver will go on to live a much happier and more fulfilling life.

The Stranger and My Big Question

The Stranger and my big question really do not relate to each other very much in my opinion. Because Meursalt is so indifferent about life throughout the novel it seems that nothing affected him, including relationships. Even with Marie, it said it made him happy at times, but we know that he could have gone without it. In that, I think Marie's relationship really didn't alter Meursalt's life on a drastic scale. It was nice for him to have something with a woman and something fun that he could experience with her, but in the end it really made no difference to him whether he was with her or not. He never truly depicts missing her terribly or longing for her when he is in jail and she is not allowed to see him anymore. The relationship between him and Raymond also wasn't very imposing on his life besides the fact that it lead to him killing the Arab. Meursalt is never angry with Raymond because it was basically Raymond's fault, and he simply accepts that he committed a crime.

The only true instance where Meursalt reveals his feelings is when he is with the man of God. I think the only reason for this occurring was because he knew he was about to die and so he finally decided to let out all the emotion that he had kept inside his entire life. I personally believe that there is more to Meursalt's mother then the author lead us to think. There most likely was something that occurred in his early childhood life, possibly something with his Dad, that made him want to bottle up his feelings and not care about the world. Why else would the author put in the details of the mother's funeral? Or, Meursalt and his mother had gone through something tragic or life changing together and with that it made Meursalt indifferent about the world and when his mother died the emotion started building up inside him until it was finally released explosively before his death. Overall, the only relationship that truly impacted Meursalt was that with his mother and all the others really did not impact his life drastically. And, that relationship with his mother was most likely harmful because it caused him to hold his emotions inside and let them build up until its breaking point.

Crime and Punishment w/ My Big Question

Crime and Punishment and my Big Question basically go hand in hand. There are many relationships throughout this book and each of them contribute to my idea. The primary relationship between Rodya and Razumihin is one of those examples. Rodya steps the boundaries between insanity and sanity very frequently and whenever Rodya is having troubling thoughts or is in a bad place Razumihin is always there for him. He seems to be the voice of reason throughout the book and even looks after Rodya's family when Rodya goes to prison. This relationship is obviously helpful because Razumihin is an honest man who wishes to help Rodya and simply improve his life. Although he doesn't know Rodya killed those women in the beginning, he finds out later, but still remains as a stable person for Rodya to lean on even after he is convicted. Another relationship would be the one between Rodya and Dounia. This relationship seems to be healthy but is tainted by Rodya's illness. He treats his family very poorly throughout the book, but the family sticks with him. It is surprising they still love him after all his has done, but shows how strong the love within ones family can be. Dounia tries to help Rodya with his life, but only seems to annoy him and make his life worse. First, by bringing Peter Petrovich into the picture and by her mother sending the letter to Rodya, it made Rodya's insanity run deeper. In the end, the relationship takes a turn for the better and Rodya does realize who truly loves him. One of those people, and another important character, is Sonya. She is very timid and is shown as a very innocent person although she is a prostitute. Her love for Rodya is what drives him to confess and what helps him begin the road to redemption. This relationship is definitely healthy for Rodya because he learns that he does not always have to do things on his own and can be helped by others in order to succeed. It also teaches Rodya how to love and that the hardest thing to do may also be the right thing to do. Although he tortures her for the majority of the book, Rodya finally comes to the realization that he needs Sonya just as much as she needs him. In the book Crime and Punishment there are many relationships that turn out to be healthy even though Rodya taints them with his fits of insanity. A couple relationships that are not healthy and in fact harmful to Rodya would be the one with Svidigralov and in some cases with Porfiry. Svidigralov only causes Rodya distress by talking about his sister all the time and how he wants to be with her and when Rodya goes to him for help he is left with nothing. Svidigralov tortures Rodya by being a possible threat to his sister and is also a bad influence on him because Svidigralov is the future Rodya if he were to continue on the path he was going on. Porfiry seems to drive Rodya into even deeper fits of insanity with his games and interrogation tactics. That relationship is definitely harmful because he only plays games and increases Rodya's frustration. Although in the end Porfiry figures out that Rodya is in fact the killer, but let's Rodya confess for himself so in that aspect he did help him.

King Lear and My Big Question

The story of King Lear is a perfect example of how a man was changed mentally by the people in his life. The play is full of relationships that go array and deaths occur because of it. In the beginning, Lear is a normal king who decides to divide his kingdom into three parts, one for each of his daughters. This would be acceptable, if all of his daughters proclaimed their love for Lear, but one did not. Cordelia decides not to "heave her heart into her mouth" and say something that is not true. For this she is not given a piece of King Lear's kingdom and instead she is basically sent away to live with her new found husband in France. From that point on, being that Cordelia was his favorite daughter, King Lear continues to go into a crazed depression. On his first visit to his daughter, Goneril, he feels unwelcomed and Goneril views her father as outstepping his boundaries. The way Goneril and King Lear fight only adds to King Lear's madness, making him paranoid. He thinks he will then be welcomed nicely at his second daughter's home, but he finds it is even worse there. In a fit of insanity Lear leaves his daugher's house to go run outside in a storm. He cannot believe his daughter's are betraying him so and it sparks him to sink into a deep madness. The relationship between Lear and his daughters proves that if you entrust everything in the people you love it may lead to your demise. This relationship was so extremely hurtful to Lear that it caused his downfall as a normal person.

While all this is happening, another relationship, that of Edmund and Edgar is evolving. Edgar trusts Edmund being it that they are brothers, (even though Edmund is illegitimate), and does not think Edmund would ever do him harm. But it turns out that Edmund is selfish and wants to take over the kingdom so he plans an evil plot to get rid of Edgar. This relationship turns sour without Edgar even knowing it. With Edmund sending Edgar away for his "own good" he got his brother out of the picture and even convinced their father, Gloucester, that Edgar had done him wrong. Edgar cannot stand up for himself because he is gone and so Gloucester has no one else to believe. When Gloucester is seen trying to help King Lear Goneril and Cornwall cut his eyes out, making him blind. At this point King Lear has gone completely mad.

 At the end of the novel almost each of these characters have died except for Albany, Edgar, and Kent. It shows that because of all the betrayal and secrecies that lied between these people, the characters could not survive. Each person's actions affected another's and it ended up as a spiral of depression and suicide. It was almost a domino affect, as each character died, that character's passing affected another character in that they committed suicide or were killed. The story of King Lear proves that if you are surrounded by sour relationships that are harmful and unheatlthy then you will not be able to tolerate it for long.

Oedipus and My Big Question

Oedipus and my question interact in a variety of ways. The tragic end of Oedipus proves how detrimental a relationship such as the one with his mother and him, can be. Throughout his life the relationships Oedipus has are healthy and supportive. He is happy with his friends and surrounded by good people around him. When the murder search is lit aflame though Oedipus at first turns on his dear friend and brother in law, Kreon. At this point the relationship was tainted. Because Oedipus accused Kreon of telling lies so that he could steal the throne, a tension was created. This was obviously harmful because it caused stress on all the people involved. Then, when Oedipus realized who his mother/wife was, it ruined his life. This healthy and otherwise perfectly normal relationship was eventually found out for what it truly was, incest. Just the fact that Oedipus had been betrothed to his mother and had relations in the same bed that he was birthed was too much for Oedipus and Jocasta to handle. This harmful relationship was the end of them both. Jocasta hung herself because she could not bare to live on with her husband/son. Oedipus also blinded himself with Jocasta's brooches because he would not look upon the world and the other people in his life in the same way. He couldn't look at his marvelous palace the same, or his daughters the same, or even his own brother in law in the same way as he did before he knew the truth. In all, Oedipus is the perfect depiction of how a healthy relationship can turn harmful, and how that relationship can impact someone, such as Oedipus, to the highest extent.  

Intro to My Big Question

How do you know if a relationship is healthy or harmful, and can it be both?

In my life time I have heard/seen many stories about harmful and healthy relationships. What inspired me to do this was the relationship that my best friend has with her biological father. Her Mom and Dad divorced when she was a baby and he split, so she hasn't seen him since. But recently he has tried to contact her and come back in her life. I know this has affected her life significantly and it can truly be  seen as both harmful and healthy because in one way without him she learned how to be independent and strong. On the other hand I imagine it would have been a very hard childhood growing up without a father. The fact that there is a lack of relationship between my best friend and her Dad makes her life tougher and more complicated. Therefore the relationship would lean towards the harmful side in my opinion. I want to explore this question this semester because I want to see how other harmful relationships affect the characters in the story and how the healthy ones can overpower the hurtful.

This summer I read the book, "To the Lighthouse" by Victoria Wolf. It was a story about a family on some islands near Scotland and it was very focused on the interaction of the characters. One of the main dilemmas in this story was the relationship between Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay. Mr. Ramsay was a brilliant philosopher who made life decisions based on his intellect, while Mrs. Ramsay based her choices off of her emotions. Throughout the story Mr. Ramsay would secretly beg for Mrs. Ramsay's sympathy; but she would not give it. When Mr. Ramsay wanted her to prove her love she would do so by a smile and a look in her eyes, not by her voice. This relationship was so complicated that it is in fact hard to tell whether it was harmful or hurtful. Mrs. Ramsay loved her children more then anything in the world and often times Mr. Ramsay was hurtful or cruel to them. James' life long dream, for example, was to go spend a day at the light house. He would ask over and over and Mrs. Ramsay would leave James with a ray of hope, only for it to be struck down by his father because the weather wasn't good enough or the water was too rough. Although they disagreed in parenting, they did love each other very much and could not be successful in their world without one another. The relationship that I mentioned earlier though with James and Mr. Ramsay was different. James disliked his father so much he had thoughts of murder and assault appear in his head whenever his father entered the room. This relationship was harmful and unhealthy because there was so much hatred and even though his father did not mean to, he made James detach from him. The only real connection there is, is when they finally make the journey to the lighthouse together at the end of the novel. There were many more relationships between each family member and overall I would say that this family was much more complex then the average family, at least nowadays. The novel was written in 1926 and things were much different then. Don't get me wrong every modern family has their problems, but in this novel the problems seemed to go much deeper.